Abusive Relationships Essay

Abusive Relationships can cause physical and emotional violence, fear, and even guilt. Many abusive relationships often go unheard because of the threat from the abuser. Abusive relationships impact millions of relationships each day and teenage girls are at the highest risk. The impact on these relationships can cause life changing consequences. Abusive relationships can cause many physical altercations that can be life threatening. In the journal, â€Å"Reporting Domestic Violence,† a journalist states the warning signs of physically abusive relationships: â€Å"According to the national Domestic Violence Hotline, you may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever: damaged property when angry (e.g. thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.), pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or choked you, abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place, scared you by driving recklessly, used a weapon to threaten or hurt you, forced you to leave your home, trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving, prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention, hurt your children, or used physical force in sexual situations.† (â€Å"Reporting Domestic Violence†) This quote illustrates the warnings of a potential abusive relationship. This quote is connected to the hypothesis because some of the signs can be physically life threatening. In the movie â€Å"Enough,† â€Å"there is a part when Jennifer Lopez (Slim) and her daughter try to escape from the abusive marriage and he finds the husbands catches up to them and hits, slaps, kicks, and punches Slim almost to death.† (Apted) This quote illustrates the hardship and struggle of abusive relationships. This quote is connected to the hypothesis the wife in the movie almost got killed by her abusive husband. Abusive Relationships did not only cause by physical abuse but also mental abuse. Emotional pain was another heavy toll caused by abusive relationships. In the article, â€Å"The Dark Side of Dating,† the author states how the abuser feels about being in an abusive relationship: â€Å"When there are good times, you might think that once the bad stuff is â€Å"fixed† the relationship will go back to how it was before it went bad,† says Corcoran. But being with someone who swings between being cruel and being kind can  have consequences, including making you feel depressed or really bad about yourself. â€Å"Max had put me down so much that I had no self esteem,† says Brittny.† (Larsen) This quote illustrates how an abuser can make you feel bad about yourself. This quote is connected to the hypothesis because the victim in the article faced self esteem issues because of the emotional pain in a relationship. In the journal, â€Å"Reporting Domestic Violence,† a journalist states the emotional warning signs of an abusive rela tionship: â€Å"Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you; does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive; tries to isolate you from friends and family; monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with, does not want you to work, controls finances or refuses to share money; punishes you by withholding affection; experts you to ask permission, threatens to hurt you, the children, your family, or your pets; humiliates you in any way.† (â€Å"Reporting Domestic Violence†) This quote illustrates the emotional/mental signs of a bad relationship. This quote is connected to the hypothesis because it shows an emotional burden on a relationship. Sometimes relationships can even cause a heavy fear from the victim. Abusive relationships for the victim can cause them to be terrified of the abuser. In the article, â€Å"A woman tells of escape from abusive spouse,† the author states the fright of one victim’s abusive relationship: â€Å"I turned into a quivering, shivering little mouse that was afraid of being in his presence,† said Elaine, whose last name is withholding for her protection. â€Å"I second guessed every move, second guessed every action.† For Elaine, the abuse was more emotional than physical, nut she felt unable to leave her husband, even when an escape route was offered.† (Rodriguez) This quote illustrates the fear of how a woman was afraid of her husband and how she could not leave him even though she was terrified of him. This quote is connected to the hypothesis because the mother was afraid of what might happen if she stayed. In the article, â€Å"A woman tells of escape from abusive spouse,† the author states the fear of a wife who w as afraid to even go out in the waiting room after a doctor visit: â€Å"I was shaking,† Elaine said. â€Å"They (attendants) noticed something was wrong. I said, â€Å"Please, don’t make me go back out in that waiting room. Can you just keep me here and let me see the doctor now? And they did.† Medical personnel gave her a card with  contact information for Mainstay, the Hendersonville nonprofit that supports victims of domestic abuse. They told her Mainstay would find her a place to stay that night.† (Rodriguez) This quote illustrates the extreme fear of a wife seeing her husband. This quote is connected to the hypothesis because it states the mother fear of the abuser. Abusive Relationships not only caused fear but even guilt from the victim. Abusive Relationships can cause victims of the abusers to feel guilt. In the journal, â€Å"I didn’t want to put them through that: the influence of children on victim decision-making in intimate partner violence cases,† the author states how a victim feels about putting her kids through this situation, â€Å"The guilt I feel everyday and try to figure out, â€Å"What was wrong with me, why did I put my children through that, why did I make them hear things they heard?† I can relate to having that degrading feeling, â€Å"How could you allow yourself to get in that situation and how could you, how could you†¦ put your kids through this?† (Rhodes 5) This quote illustrates how a mother felt guilty about putting her kids through the abusive relationship. This quote is connected to the hypothesis because the victim of the relationship felt guilty. In the article, â€Å"A woman tells of escape from abusive spouse,† the author states how guilt is fe lt by the victim: â€Å"I put my son on the line for that man, and I’ll never forget it,† Elaine said. â€Å"I will feel guilty until the day I die for that. But I can’t change it and the guilt is so extreme—-there is no other guilt greater than that. I have to deliberately put it outside my head because it will kill me. I couldn’t handle that.† (Rodriguez) This quote illustrates the remorse of one mother’s decision in staying in the abusive relationship with her child even when she had an outlet to get help. This quote is connected to the hypothesis because it shows how the abuser feels shameful for staying in an abusive relationship with a child. The guilt from abusive relationships was one of many aspects of bad relationships. Abusive relationships is a horrible thing going on today in our world. Abusive relationships have caused emotional problems such as depression and physical problems including death. Over 1.5 million teens were abused last year. The main aspects of abusive relationships are physical and emotional  violence, fear, and guilt. Works Cited Page Enough.Apted,Michael.Dir. Perf. Jennifer Lopez,Billy Campbell.Columbia Pictures, 2002. DVD. Larsen, Foy, Elizabeth. â€Å"The Dark Side of Dating.† Scholastic Choices. 01 Feb 2014: 14 eLibrary. Web. 11 Mar. 2014. â€Å"Reporting Domestic Violence.† Journal of the American Chiropractic Association (2012). Academic Onefile. Web. 13 Mar. 2014 Rhodes, Karin V., et al. â€Å"I didn’t want to put them through that: the influence of children on victim decision-making in intimate partner violence cases.† Journal of Family Violence 25.5 (2010) 485+. Academic Onefile. Web. Mar. 2014 Rodriguez, Sandra V. â€Å"A woman tells of escape from abusive spouse.†Asheville Citizen-Times; Ashville;N.C. 23. May 2011. A1 eLibrary. Web. Mar. 2014 Abusive Relationships Essay Introduction Abusive Relationships are created mentally and physically. In my opinion, the definition for abuse describes a person with harmful intents; lacking concern, compassion, or affection for another human being. The following annotated bibliographies will express different stages of abuse in set climates. The purpose is to evaluate opinions of the authors selected with the most relevant connections to the behavior patterns of abusive relationships. The Effects of Abusive Relationships Rafenstein, M. (2001). Recognizing an abusive Relationship. Current Health, 2,(5): 27. This article exploits the signs of abusive relationships. Recognizing abuse and the signs most commonly overlooked by those being abused. The article takes a closer look through the eyes of the abuser in order to reveal the dangers of the relationship. Understanding why and how abusers think is important to a survivor. Distinguishing an attitude from a behavior could be the difference between life and death. The article has helpful insight that act as warning signals, easily overlooked by those who would become victims. Normally, the focus is centered on the victim, this article takes the power away from the abuser by disclosing the tactics used before the behavior. This article is very useful to my methods of research because it explains the warning signs and cautious behavior. Seeing the patterns of abuse from a different angle will assist prevention and awareness programs in all communities; especially those living with repeat offenders. Steiner, Leslie Morgan.(2009). Crazy Love: A Memoir. New York, NY: St. Martin. The author, Leslie Morgan Stenier, wrote this book as a Memoir about being married to an abusive husband. His actions and behavior motivates her to tell all and to be an example for other wives who feel trapped. The mental and physical abuse became a documented source of support that led to writing this book as a survivor. This book presents real life events of being married to a dangerous predator. It is a good source for my research, showing the mindset of a wife, victim, and survivor. The author made a life changing decision to tell and the lifesaving decision to leave. The weaknesses of her past become a stepping stone for other women in the same predicament. The book closes the gaps between coping and surviving abuse. Newton, C.J. â€Å"Effects of Domestic Violence.† Domestic Violence: An Overview. 2009. 18 April 2010. < http://www.findcounseling.com/journal/domestic-violence/domestic-violence-effects.html> This article examines the long-term effects and the mental health of abuse. This website journals abusive effects that lead to crisis and the process of healing. The article refers to case studies monitored by John Hopkins that concern children born to an abused mother. The article provides professional resources such as: crisis prevention and advocacy programs. This site also offers self-assessments and a glossary of mental health. This article is a valuable source for abusive relationship research that offers a website for battered women and children. This article is a very good source for addressing abusive relationships and the threats victims ignore before the worst actions occur. It is very helpful in filtering out threats that may cause dangerous actions. This article brings the law into fruition and encourages victims to break the silence and stopping the violence. Adam, Shapiro, Anderson, K., Glick, J. Umberson, D. â€Å"Domestic Violence, Personal Control, and Gender: National Council on Family Relations. â€Å"Journal of Marriage and Family. Vol. 60, No. 2: May 1998. 442-452. The authors of this article examine domestic violence, personal control and gender within relationships. They use the research literature to explain the consequences of being in unhealthy family settings. This article brings clarity to domestic violence and abuse labeled with the family values that are disguised. Gender plays a vital role in personal control and abuse within relationships. According to this article, the person with the most influence usually has more personal control and often makes the other person feel inferior. This article provides a clear understanding of the roles within an abusive relationship. It was very helpful with the research for abusive relationship. The article has calculated statistics gathered from selected sources that shows patterns and behavior trends of abuse. The authors explain the phase violence that promoted the unhealthy lifestyle that is usually hidden from others. The article reveals how gender is relevant to the process of violence. Flynn, Clifton P. â€Å"Relationship Violence by Women: Issues and Implications†: National Council on Family Relations. Family Relations. Vol. 39, No. 2: Apr. 1990.194-198. Clifton P. Flynn analyzes women who are abusive in relationships. Flynn focuses on violent and dysfunctional acts done by women, rather than men. Society presume women to be nurturing with maternal instincts, this article unmasks the evil inside of heartless, abusive women. The statistics from the empirical research shows wives, mothers, and female caretakers as batterers. According to the article, abuse inflicted by women is not reported as much as abuse by men. This article helps to define the fine lines between genders and abuse. It is relevant to research about abusive relationships showing that women can be abusers too. The author gives biased opinions with facts of documentation from family members and those with personal contact with abusive women. This article describes the images of abuse that are hidden from society. Connolly, Jennifer, and Wendy Josephson. â€Å"Aggression in Adolescent Dating Relationships†. 2007(14): 3-5. This article explains the dangers in dating from the point of view of both females and males. According to the article, boys are reported to have more aggressive behavior while dating and girls are likely to respond with self-defense. Both genders have symptoms of anxiety, fear, and emotional distractions. Statically, these behavior patterns often lead to becoming a run away and school drop outs. The article also list different influences that act as stress factors for aggressive  behavior, such as: violence within the home, drug and alcohol abuse, and peer pressure. The article has a positive motive for exposing aggressive behavior patterns amongst teen dating. The authors have strong viewpoints that are helpful for making rational decisions about the pros and cons. It provides signs of abuse and presents the top rated signs of awareness. The research addressed in the article is most helpful in deciding how to relate aggression and abuse with anxiety and behavior patterns. Most important the article addresses the reasons teens develop such outrageous habits of abuse.